Stay Awake in the middle of Panic

By- Oscar Nelson

So I kinda freaked out a bit today. My finances blew up in my face due to my lack of management. This blow up sent me into a slight tailspin as I had just read some strategies for getting my finances in order this morning. These strategies made me feel like a child, not because it was new, but because it was shit I knew and DID NOT USE years ago when it would have been useful in shaping today. If it was new information it would still have been a gut check, but today it was a square kick to the proverbial balls. I reacted poorly, I will admit. But it made me breath in that grown up breath of “This will not happen again.” I looked deep into the core of what was going on and found something, maybe a piece of the “root” of many of my frustrations. I fought hard to stay “Awake.”

The root I think I found was that I want everything NOW, without having to “earn” it. I want my finances square, but have invested no time into a budget. I want my business to run like its on rails, but I don’t constantly trim any unnecessary expenses and keep on the small details. I want to lead, but have not set a clear direction to where I am going. What do all of these have in common?


I did not prepare. I did not act ahead. No one is to blame but me. I had to forgive myself and move on. But it made me wonder how much subconscious energy went into burying all the signs that things needed to change a long time ago. Those “yellow alerts” that nudge us that there is a need for change, but before the “fire” of disaster.

What “Yellow Alerts” are just below your surface? What unsorted out part of your life are you dreading to look deeper into? The funny thing is that when you look at it dead in the eye, the problem is not the huge monster you once thought it was. And like the way to eat an elephant, take the ugly bastard a bit at a time.

And for God’s sake, stop beating yourself up about it. And I will do my best to do the same.

To Fierce Freedom,


Welcoming the Unknowing

by- Oscar Nelson on January 26th, 2014

So today I woke up feeling uneasy and restless. An aimless, ungraspable intensity to do something that felt so pressing but just out of reach flavored the morning in a grasping melancholy. A push to “do” without an aim or a goal. So what do we do with that Unknowing that takes us at times? What do we do with that energy that wants to create but is diffused, and without a set medium to create from.

Welcome this Unknowing.

It came to me as the only option. That Unknowing itself became a teacher of sorts. It showed the lack of knowledge in what I would usually do to fulfill others “should’s” of what was expected of me. With no pull from others I felt like a balloon with no string. A cloud with no substance. I realized that it is just the uncomfortable transition to being truly me. There is a learning that has to happen when we step out of the confines that have always held us. There is a vastness to this new freedom that is so ungrounded and uncomfortable. Like life itself, these new boundless states need practice to become comfortable. To become known.

Until then, I will welcome the Unknown as a friend and teacher. Because it is only by moving beyond what is comfortable and usual can we grow. And for a better focus, growth is a goal most worthy to pursue.

How to Find Yourself behind the Façade of Normalcy

how to find yourself

How to Find Yourself

Is Normalcy a Façade?

The more you try to find what the definitions of “normal” is, the farther you will be driven from it.

Here is the scenario – your best efforts go in trying to be how everyone else around you acts because that is considered normal. You try harder every day, every time, to just fit in, to seek their approval, just this one more time. And you push back the feeling of being weird so hard that you want to forget it.

But the truth is that the flimsy shell beneath which you hide yourself is just a hair’s breadth away from crumbling. Isn’t it true?

My Word to You

Let the shell crumble.

No shell, no façade, can stay in place for too long. The sooner it comes off, the better.
So, show the world your flavor of the “weird”. There is all probability that the ones around you will be shocked at times. Do you know why? Not because it is out of place but it reminds them of their own shell. It makes them realize how transient it is and that theirs too could crumble any moment.

There is nothing in you that you must hide. Normalcy comes from norms. And norms are only manmade. That is nowhere near changing lives, that is dictating lives. Don’t let others make you.

Be yourself, totally yourself, lose yourself in being you.

Why Must You Be You?

The world doesn’t need even one more normal person when there is already a crowd. The world needs you weird; it’s already full of “normal” numbskulls! It’s quite mundane to have clones of clones all around. The sincere employee who can never take a break; the dedicated housewife who must always tend to her children all the time; the overburdened student who must score an A in all subjects – we already have an army of those people, and of those who are constantly trying to be all that.

Is there anything that is different about you? If there is, then you must not hide it, because it is as much a part of you as your eyes or your hands.

Next time, leave that webpage up that you would have hidden it when others came by; bring that book to read on your break that you thought may make you look weird.

Do tell me what is that one thing that you could do today that would challenge the status quo. Please tell me of you wish to learn how to find yourself.

Chip the shell, free yourself.

Nothing Changes Until You Do

-By Oscar Nelson

Its amazing how easily I can feel stuck out of the blue. At times I can feel so overwhelmed with things that are out of my control. Then something often shifts and my perspective changes. The issues that seemed to frustrate me fall away and a new focus is found, usually much more productive that what I was focusing on. What happened to change that focus?

I changed slightly.

And whenever we change, our entire world changes with us. It is amazing to see that what we allow or don’t allow in ourselves is mirrored in our exterior life. If we feel internally frustrated and lost, the world will prove we are right. If we focus on the positive and strive to focus only on what we can control, the world is positive and malleable to fit our needs.

What needs changing in your life?

What is something that feels completely out of your control that you are letting control you?

Could you think of a better way?

What would your life look like if you had the personal power to change it to how you want?

What is one thing you could do RIGHT NOW to move in that direction?

Effortless Action

Something that I have been working towards, that seems so counter intuitive, is effortless action. The action doing itself through me so to speak. Its getting into that flow state where you are observing yourself doing, but “you” seem to be just an observer as your body carries out its function. This is freedom. No worry about the end results, no thought about next weeks bills, no effort. Just noticing. No judgement, only open awareness. I feel that this is the resting state of the sage, the “Awakened” or “Enlightened” ones. Most have nothing to do and nowhere to be in their mentally pure state; and yet they may do much and be all over the Earth engaging with others. Is this meditation in action? Have you ever felt that same state? When and where was it? Can you remember, as a child, loosing track of time doing something? Is that something that could benefit your life right now? Could you do that special thing with a mindset of meditation and see what happens?

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