by- Oscar Nelson on January 26th, 2014
So today I woke up feeling uneasy and restless. An aimless, ungraspable intensity to do something that felt so pressing but just out of reach flavored the morning in a grasping melancholy. A push to “do” without an aim or a goal. So what do we do with that Unknowing that takes us at times? What do we do with that energy that wants to create but is diffused, and without a set medium to create from.
Welcome this Unknowing.
It came to me as the only option. That Unknowing itself became a teacher of sorts. It showed the lack of knowledge in what I would usually do to fulfill others “should’s” of what was expected of me. With no pull from others I felt like a balloon with no string. A cloud with no substance. I realized that it is just the uncomfortable transition to being truly me. There is a learning that has to happen when we step out of the confines that have always held us. There is a vastness to this new freedom that is so ungrounded and uncomfortable. Like life itself, these new boundless states need practice to become comfortable. To become known.
Until then, I will welcome the Unknown as a friend and teacher. Because it is only by moving beyond what is comfortable and usual can we grow. And for a better focus, growth is a goal most worthy to pursue.