Stay Awake in the middle of Panic

By- Oscar Nelson

So I kinda freaked out a bit today. My finances blew up in my face due to my lack of management. This blow up sent me into a slight tailspin as I had just read some strategies for getting my finances in order this morning. These strategies made me feel like a child, not because it was new, but because it was shit I knew and DID NOT USE years ago when it would have been useful in shaping today. If it was new information it would still have been a gut check, but today it was a square kick to the proverbial balls. I reacted poorly, I will admit. But it made me breath in that grown up breath of “This will not happen again.” I looked deep into the core of what was going on and found something, maybe a piece of the “root” of many of my frustrations. I fought hard to stay “Awake.”

The root I think I found was that I want everything NOW, without having to “earn” it. I want my finances square, but have invested no time into a budget. I want my business to run like its on rails, but I don’t constantly trim any unnecessary expenses and keep on the small details. I want to lead, but have not set a clear direction to where I am going. What do all of these have in common?


I did not prepare. I did not act ahead. No one is to blame but me. I had to forgive myself and move on. But it made me wonder how much subconscious energy went into burying all the signs that things needed to change a long time ago. Those “yellow alerts” that nudge us that there is a need for change, but before the “fire” of disaster.

What “Yellow Alerts” are just below your surface? What unsorted out part of your life are you dreading to look deeper into? The funny thing is that when you look at it dead in the eye, the problem is not the huge monster you once thought it was. And like the way to eat an elephant, take the ugly bastard a bit at a time.

And for God’s sake, stop beating yourself up about it. And I will do my best to do the same.

To Fierce Freedom,


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