So, today I woke up feeling uneasy and restless. An aimless, ungraspable intensity to do something that felt so pressing but just out of reach, flavored the morning in an overwhelming melancholy. A push to “do” without an aim or a goal – that is what I felt. So what do we do with that Unknowing that takes us at times? How do we empower ourselves with that? What do we do with that energy which wants to create, but is diffused, and without a set medium to create from?
By welcoming it? Yes, indeed!
Welcome this Unknowing
It came to me as the only option. That Unknowing itself became a teacher of sorts, a medium to unleash the power within. It showed the lack of knowledge in what I would usually do to fulfill others’ mandates of what was expected of me. With no pull from others, I felt like a balloon with no string; a cloud with no substance. I discovered the “unbearable lightness of being” as Milan Kundera calls it, and I discovered how to be at ease with that lightness.
I realized that it is just the uncomfortable transition to being truly me. There is a learning that has to happen when we step out of the confines that have always held us. There is a vastness to this new freedom that is so ungrounded and uncomfortable; that which can truly empower us.
The Unknowing is not Foucaludian
There had been a time when Foucault seemed right, and polity did make good from it. For him, knowledge may be power, but this not knowing can be powerful still; can be uplifting still; can be boosting still.
However, not knowing doesn’t mean ignorance. Not knowing is, when I wish to a write something that makes some difference is someone’s life today, but I do not know what it is that I must write. Ignorance is not that. It is not caring if your writing makes someone better or worse. It may even unleash the power within, but that power will be directionless.
Like life itself, the new boundless state of not knowing, needs practice to become comfortable; to become known. Until then, I will welcome the Unknown as a friend and teacher. Because it is only by moving beyond what is comfortable and usual can we grow and empower ourselves. And, for a better focus, growth is a goal most worthy to pursue.